Thursday Thoughts

Do you ever read craigslist.org? Maybe "read" is the wrong word - yeah, you're reading printed words, but is it really reading material? I've become somewhat of an expert on this, IMHO, since I read through many pages of CL every day, looking for jobs, stuff for sale, and my own personal favorite, the rants and raves pages.

They're like watching a nasty accident on the highway: you're riveted despite your horror and revulsion. I read these posts and everyday I'm appalled and dismayed by the hatred and ignorance spewed forth. There's a need for boards like RnR, for people to vent and get rid of some toxic emotions, but when the posts and replies to them go on for pages, over some ultimately minor matter, it's sickening and sad.

And some of it posted by obviously disturbed and lonely people, wanting things they have no idea how to get or what they'd do if they actually got them. I suspect they'd be just as miserable.

It's scary that there are so many people out there who are so ignorant, or stupid or both, and so filled with hatred and inadequacy, when I read this stuff, I can't help wonder where these people work, do they have people who love them or whom they love, how do they get through their days with so much darkness in their souls?

I've been down before, and I'm down now, and I'm no saint. I have ugly thoughts - -more than I care to admit. But I don't get how you can carry that much hate and not explode. Is it something that goes back through the generations, like the psychologists would like us to think? That we learn what we live, so if we live in an atmosphere of ugliness and fury, that's how we'll learn to live as grown-ups? It seems too easy to me to blame it all on our families, or the town or city or, hell village, where we grew up.

That feels like a great big cop-out. My mommy didn't me give the love I needed, and that's why I became a criminal? Please. Your mommy was just a person, not perfect by any means. Maybe what we need is to just grow some responsibility for our actions and our selves, and grow the hell up.