Labor Day

Been a busy time here. Still looking for work. I received an email from the Feds that I was deemed qualified for one of the jobs I'd applied for and that my resume was being forwarded to the selection personnel. Now it's a case of hurry up and wait.

I was sent on an interview thru the temp agency I enrolled with, to a local chiropractor's office. The interview went well, I think, except that the interviewer said, "It's clear you have everything I'm looking for, but I have one concern. How do I know you won't leave when you get a better offer?"

They're offering $9/hr and no benefits.

I replied that I understood her concern, but I was interested in the position, and that I would commit to doing the best job I was capable of. Seriously, did she expect me to say, Oh, no sweat, I promise I'll stick around for the next 10 years...what guarantee does any employer get that the employee won't quit after a week? What guarantee does the employer give that the employee won't be let go on a whim? It's called "at-will" work. You want to tie me in, then pay a better wage and give me a contract.

I doubt they'll offer this job to me, but the pathetic thing is that if they do, I'll probably accept it.

And I've been depressed ever since the interview last Thursday, trying to figure out if I really even want this job. I mean, I do want it, it's a job. But I don't think I can actually make it on that salary. And I worry that if they offer and I turn it down, it will disqualify me for any additional unemployment. A rock and a hard place, is what they call this.

On a brighter note: my tax preparer class starts next Monday. I'm excited to be doing this, to be learning a new skill set.

So, Happy Labor Day to all!

Saturday, August21, 2010, 06:41AM

Interview Update - it would appear that I was not hired. A disappointment, but life goes on.

I've been awake since 4 o'clock, online, job searching and completing applications. It's hot in my den, I'm hungry and grouchy.

I was talking with a friend last night and he made a comment about being bored at work. Another friend often complains about her job. I have still another friend who is a stay-at-home wife, no kids, and so very certain that she has all the answers. I'm so very certain she does not.

Every time I hear an employed person whine about some trivial happening at their job, it's like a knife to my heart. I want to just shake them and yell, "GRATITUDE??? EVER HEARD OF IT??"

Yeah, I know, I bitched about trivial stuff when I was working, too, and I most likely will do it again, if I ever get another job. But it's so hard to hear, when I'd be so happy to pick up part-time work right now.

Guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself this morning.

Sometimes you get what you need

OK, being unemployed, I try not to spend money on unnecessary things, right? Well, last week, the little air conditioner in my bedroom quit on me. I was devastated - I really need a cool room for sleeping, all year round. In the winter, I rarely even turn the heat on in the bedroom.

So, here I am, middle of the hottest summer in years, the a/c in the bedroom is dead. So I turned it off and started trolling the Interwebs for a deal (loosely speaking) on a/c units. I really didn't like that I might have to buy one - not the best time for "major" purchases, right? But I was willing - like I said, hot summer nights et al, and more coming, and I have an interview next week that I'd like to ace. So I decided to bite the bullet and go for it, if I could find one for around $110.

Best Buy had one for about $100 online, so I went to the local BB store - none in stock, not planning to get any more. I went all over this town - Kmart, WalMart, Sears, Target, Big Lots, the local mom -n- pop joints, the PAWN shops....nuthin', not not way. Well, except Sears had a 12,000btu for $500. I laughed and walked out.

So back to Big Lots, my go-to store for cheap stuff, and picked up a 40" oscillating fan. Reasonably priced. Nice, too. Works well, I recommend it. Used it Friday night, kept the bedroom comfy, if not meat-locker cold.

Saturday morning, I'm cleaning. On a whim, I turn the a/c temperature dial down to low cool, flip the thing on, and Hallelujah!! The compressor kicks back to life and out flows blessedly cold, refreshing air!

I guess the thing had maybe frozen up (?) and needed to defrost (??) - hey, whadda I know from air conditioners? - and I don't care what it was, I am just thrilled that it's working again and I didn't have to shell out $100+ bucks for a new unit. Thank you, angels of the air conditioning, for resurrecting my cool air!

(No blasphemy is intended, I am very thankful!)

Thursday Thoughts

Do you ever read craigslist.org? Maybe "read" is the wrong word - yeah, you're reading printed words, but is it really reading material? I've become somewhat of an expert on this, IMHO, since I read through many pages of CL every day, looking for jobs, stuff for sale, and my own personal favorite, the rants and raves pages.

They're like watching a nasty accident on the highway: you're riveted despite your horror and revulsion. I read these posts and everyday I'm appalled and dismayed by the hatred and ignorance spewed forth. There's a need for boards like RnR, for people to vent and get rid of some toxic emotions, but when the posts and replies to them go on for pages, over some ultimately minor matter, it's sickening and sad.

And some of it posted by obviously disturbed and lonely people, wanting things they have no idea how to get or what they'd do if they actually got them. I suspect they'd be just as miserable.

It's scary that there are so many people out there who are so ignorant, or stupid or both, and so filled with hatred and inadequacy, when I read this stuff, I can't help wonder where these people work, do they have people who love them or whom they love, how do they get through their days with so much darkness in their souls?

I've been down before, and I'm down now, and I'm no saint. I have ugly thoughts - -more than I care to admit. But I don't get how you can carry that much hate and not explode. Is it something that goes back through the generations, like the psychologists would like us to think? That we learn what we live, so if we live in an atmosphere of ugliness and fury, that's how we'll learn to live as grown-ups? It seems too easy to me to blame it all on our families, or the town or city or, hell village, where we grew up.

That feels like a great big cop-out. My mommy didn't me give the love I needed, and that's why I became a criminal? Please. Your mommy was just a person, not perfect by any means. Maybe what we need is to just grow some responsibility for our actions and our selves, and grow the hell up.

Hot and bored today. Maybe I should move someplace cold, like Antarctica....and watch the ice melt....

It's in the morning that I'm most down about the job situation, and I tend to surf the Internet, looking for jobs and job-related news. Reading news items about the current state of the economy is not helpful, just terrifying. Waiting to see what happens with the UE extension, praying that the feds approve the extension and praying even harder that I won't need to use it.

On another topic: Don't ever paint your stairs white. I don't mean the walls, I mean the actual stairs. At the time, it seemed like a good idea: the staircase was dark and dingy, so I painted the walls a nice creamy yellow and the ceiling a sky blue. I had loads of white gloss paint left, so I figured the extra white would help brighten things up. It did, but it shows every little dust bunny and smudge. Fail.